The Last Goodbye
by Liveforthemoments
Summary: Lupin is dying. Sirius needs to see him. But how do you say your last goodbye? Oneshot RLSB slash, don't like it don't read it.


Summary: Lupin is dying, and Sirius needs to see him. What do you say when you know it's going to be your last goodbye? Unashamedly slash.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or this world; J. K. Rowling.

-o-o-o-

When Sirius answered the phone, his entire world came crashing around his ears. The agitated voice of Albus Dumbledore told him that Remus had deteriorated. "The healers give him an hour to live, Sirius. I'm so sorry."

Sirius dropped the phone, his heart somehow feeling like it had stopped beating. He had known for so long that this was coming, but the shock still hit him hard, lying curled round his heart like an actual weight. The ebony-haired man had been with Remus- his husband - all morning, and had just gone to fetch lunch before heading back, but... Shaking his head sharply, Sirius picked up the phone, strode into the nearest alley and apparated to St. Mungo's.

He stood outside Remus' room for a long moment, catching his breath. Then, gathering all his courage, he entered the room.

Sirius slipped inside and closed the door. The walls were bright, gleaming white and the whole room seemed sterile. His eyes were drawn straight away to Remus, lying still on that bed, ghostly pale and incredibly thin. Sirius could see the outline of his ribs clearly through the sheets, his hip bones jutting out sharply; his wrists stick thin above long, elegant hands.

Remus' eyes snapped open and he stared at Sirius, a warm smile illuminating his pale face. "Si, you came." he said, grinning. Sirius smiled despite the aching pain in his heart. "Don't be daft, babe, of course I did. I got here as fast as I could, Remi. How are you?"

Remus smiled slightly, shrugging. "I don't know. Fine. So, so glad to see you." Sirius walked over to the bed, gently sitting down beside his husband and taking his hand. "Want to talk?" he asked quietly. Remus nodded. "Yes. But first..." and smiling mischievously, he leaned forward and kissed Sirius hard on the lips.

Sirius returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around the werewolf and helping him sit up. The two reluctantly pulled apart only when oxygen was an issue and Sirius wriggled around until he was sitting behind Remus, his lover's head resting on his chest.

"Any regrets?" Sirius asked, somehow managing to make it sound casual when his heart was beating so hard it hurt. He took a deep breath, stroking the Lycanthrope's silky, chestnut hair.

Remus smiled at him, wriggling around to get comfortable then relaxing completely, trustingly, into Sirius' arms. "Don't know. I'll miss seeing James and Lily, and Harry of course. Tell him… Tell him his Uncle Remus…"

"Godfather Remus, you mean," Sirius corrected quietly. Remus laughed. "Tell him about me, and say that… Say I'll be watching over him and I wish I could have got to know him, but I love him to bits already. James and Lily already know, but tell them I love them, and the same to my parents as well."

Sirius felt the aching pain in his chest intensify and tears prick behind his eyes as Remus spoke. "I'll do that, Moony, I swear." he said. His voice shook slightly as he hugged his husband closer, repeating quietly, "I promise."

"Don't cry, Sirius, please. You know I hate it when you cry, Padfoot." Remus kissed his lover on the tip of the nose. "I'm not sad; this is going to be a release, I swear, but... I'm going to miss you so much. I love you, Padfoot, and I always, always will."

Remus spoke entirely earnestly, his hazel eyes welling up with tears. "It's not like I didn't know, Si. Werewolves always die young, its part of the curse, but... for what its worth, Si, the one thing in my entire life I regret least is you. You've taken care of me, helped me through everything; you are the most beautiful, wonderful, perfect thing in my life and I love you."

Sirius was crying freely now, tears pouring down his cheeks as he gave up trying to hold them back, his shoulders shaking gently. "I love you too, Remus. And..." Sirius sobbed desperately, but forced his voice to remain calm, "And I know that maybe that means letting you go. I'm going to miss you so, so much Remi, but… I'll see you someday. You'll be with me in the meantime, right?"

Remus was crying too, at last, but he was smiling. "Right. I will always be with you. And Si... Si, I need to go now."

Remus's voice was getting weaker, and the note of pain in it tore Sirius apart, "But I want this to be the last thing I ever say; I love you, Sirius Orion Black, and I always will."

Sirius smiled, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. "Remus Lupin... I love you too."

Then he leaned towards his best friend, husband, lover, and kissed him on the lips, one last time. Just for a moment, both forgot everything and it was perfect.

Then Sirius felt all the tension leave Remus' body and knew that the one he loved more than anyone in the world was gone.

Sirius sat up and stared out the window, throwing his head back in a howl of pain, tears blurring in his eyes as he stared out at the blood-red dawn.

-o-o-o-

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